Rick Almighty ...

first ... let me start by saying ... hallelujah! Praise God! and a GIANT THANKS to my cousin Rick ... who literally saved me today!

my computer decided to die last night ... not a very timely death might I add ... by means of a nice shade of a blue screen ... followed by a black screen with white letters and a blinking cursor compared to that of a computer on LOST!

Crash is not a nice word in the world of computers, it's a bad word ... and a very bad one for me ... fyi ... if there are any clients of mine reading this right now ... please be assured that your pictures are safe ...thanks to Rick (did I mention him and his almightyness already?) ... after having a horrible night and pacing for hours this morning until I finally got a hold of my cousin Rick (who saved the day - did I say that already?) ... and spending the entire afternoon and half the evening at his office in Hermitage ... AND after purchasing a new external hard drive to move EVERYTHING off my now vintage computer onto this sweet little external beauty ... yep ... it's been a very long, stressful day ...

the moment I started seeing my files on his server at work ... yep ... my everything went limp and I started breathing again ... I will not even go into detail of what I was thinking ... and imaging what would happen if my files were not able to be retrieved ... not just my personal files with 1,000's of pictures from the last 4 years ... but my clients pictures from the last 4 years ... and my data base and all that entails for my other job ...

Yep ... not able to describe to you my feeling at the moment ... can so relate to you Renee knowing you just went through this ...

as I was driving to Hermitage today ... looking down into the floorboard of my van at my tower, cpu ... whatever they call it today ... that box that holds my memory, etc ... I thought to myself ... that small box holds SO MUCH personal stuff to me ... like ... every picture I've taken in the last 4 years of LeAnna and family ... that I've NEVER bothered to print ... AAAHHHHHH ... stress people, stress is what I felt and experienced today in a VERY real way ...

yes ... stress ... and lots of self promises today too ... of what I'm going to do to help prevent this from happening again ...

however ... I'm feeling MUCH better ... and after finding out the problem ... it wasn't my hard drive at all ... and in fact, my computer didn't even crash!!!!! My $20 card reader decided to bite and take a chunk out of my USB port and when it did, it shorted out all the other USB ports ... which in turn messed up the entire computer ... and so ... when my nice shade of a blue screen popped up ... all it kept saying was ... Disc 0 not found, Disc 2 not found ... meaning, hello, no hard drive ...

leading me to believe that my computer crashed ...

I was very happy to find out it was just a USB issue and can be fixed!

So ... in a state of trying to relax at the moment ... although most of my limbs are still taut and drawn up somewhat ... I'm trying to relax ...

I had big plans for today ... they will have to start tomorrow ...oh well ... LeAnna was back to school today after a week out ... I was ready, she was ready ... and my plan today was to take down all Fall decor and start decorating for Christmas ... didn't happen ...oh well ... there is tomorrow ...

now ... if I can just relax enough to fall asleep! Thanks Rick for calming me down and making it all okay ...

happy day ... tammy

Stuffed ...

Happy Thanksgiving!

We had family to our house today ... TONS of food ... so very good food ... and we ate WAY too much ... okay ... wait ... I ate WAY too much! I'm literally sick this evening from eating so much today! Yuck!!! Was it worth it?! Hmmm ... I'll let you know tomorrow!

Oh well ... so nice to take time out of our busy schedules to get together and eat, talk and ponder thoughts of "family" and being thankful.

These were some edible Pilgrim Hats that were at each person's plate ...

and ... here's some place mats that LeAnna made (her very own idea and creation) for the kids table ... the kids took them home with them ... she had fun making them.

she also made place cards to put at each person's seat ... she did it all herself and then placed them where she wanted everyone to sit ...

it was a very nice day ...


Happy Thanksgiving 2008!

tammy

Thankful ...

In the hopes of finding "the cookie" worthy to bake for the cookie party coming up ... I've been trying out new recipes ... last night I tried "Chocolate Dipped Coconut Macaroons" ... they turned out pretty stinkin' good ... this might be the one ... however, I'm eyeballing a few more that will be tested prior to the party ... regardless, I'll definitely make the Macaroons again and put them on the Table for Three blog ...

Today ... was LeAnna's cardiology appointment ... the GREAT news is ... that he said she was doing "excellent" ... and that although he had told us we would visit him annually, he felt that we could go two years without another visit (unless necessary of course) ... WoW!! This was very good news and made LeAnna very happy!

The tests don't really hurt that much ... just some pushing and prodding in tender areas ... and then the sticky tape x's 10 all over her chest that the leads connect to, were a bit difficult to get off and left places ... but other than that ... good to go!

We did however, have a concern that has been a concern for about 2 years now and has progressed ... She has been complaining of tenderness and soreness in one particular spot on her chest that includes a very prominent "something" sticking out of her chest ... ends up ... a wire that was placed around her breast bones to wire them back together after surgery is now protruding on her sternum which in turn is pushing some cartilage out of her chest ... she has ran into objects a few times and hit it here and there in the past couple of years and always complains that it hurts really bad ... so the doc said ... two things can be done ... go back to the surgeon, let her remove the wire that is no longer needed (purpose was served to mend the bones back together) or do nothing and leave it alone ...

Hmmm ... okay ... so my questions were ... is there an option? Do we have to do surgery? Will it hurt her? Will it push further out?

He recommended waiting ... and just seeing if it got worse or bothered her ... at that point, do something about it ...

Okay ... I can live with that!

All in all ... a VERY good visit ... and we left there VERY thankful and happy.

I, however, got very emotional in the ultrasound room ... it's very low light, with just the hum of the machines and us watching the monitor with all the red and blue colors shooting out of her heart ... still not sure what it all means ... but I watched intently ...

It's been 3 1/2 years ... she's well ... all is well ... yet, days like this ... takes me back ... to a very scary time in her life as well as mine ... and just being in that moment was a bit overwhelming today ... I managed to wipe tears 3 times without anyone noticing ... you know, the trick wipe - like there's something in your eye ... oh well ... she was a bit nervous ... I was holding her hand and she tried making a couple of comments to me that let me know she was nervous, but that she was playing her "cool card" about it all ...

Such a brave girl ... been through a lot ... I'm very proud of her ...

And for her ... today ... I am thankful.

Thankful that I have her first of all ... thankful that she is here and that all went well 3 1/2 years ago ...

Can't even BEGIN to tell you what it feels like when the doctor calls from surgery just to let you know that your daughter was just placed on by-pass ... knowing that a machine is "living" for her for 45 minutes and then anxiously awaiting until the phone rings again to say that she's off by-pass and that her heart starting beating on it's on again ...

yep ... enough to make you go AAAHHHHHHH .... in about 5 different languages ... all on the inside of course ... =0)

So ... yes ... very thankful today for my miracle ... not just once (her birth) ... but twice.

It is my hope and prayer that you have a most blessed holiday ... celebrating and being thankful with those you love and hold dear.

happy day ... tammy

Nothing Like A Good Sale ...

FINALLY starting to feel better ... YUCKY stuff!

Actually did some Christmas shopping yesterday and today ... Macy's one day sale proved helpful in knocking a few items off my shopping list ... happy about that!

Found and purchased LeAnna's main Christmas gift today ... been searching ... finally ... mission accomplished!

Made a new dessert this evening ... oh my ... very good ... and wouldn't you know that I didn't even think about taking pics of each step to add to my "table for three" blog ...oh well ... I'll definitely make it again and take pics next time and add the recipe ... It's a Fresh Blueberry Almond Cake ... yum!

LeAnna was supposed to go to her annual "heart doc" appointment today ... but since she missed school on Monday and Tuesday, I changed the appointment to next week ... it's a necessary annual visit and will be for the rest of her life ... I always anticipate the results of the tests after each visit ... and probably always will ... the hole is no longer there ... it's closed, sealed, gone ... but there's always that chance with the other issue, the cleft she had in her mitral valve that makes me nervous ... there is still some back flow of blood and has to be watched for the rest of her life ... if the stitching should come unstitched it would mean life threatening emergency open heart surgery ... and I know I shouldn't think about it, but I do ... however ... I also know that she's going to be fine and everything will be alright ... she is a "promise" and I DO know that ... it's just a "worrying mother characteristic" coming out just a bit ...

anyhoo ... enough about all that ...

Mom's Christmas Village is this weekend - Friday and Saturday ... it's their 25th Anniversary for it ... very cool ... they raise a lot of money and it all goes to Missions ... very cool ...

So ... some friends of mine are meeting there for breakfast in the morning ... I know it will be tasty (Mom's the manager of the booth) ... that's one thing Mom is great at - her "grub" ... =0)

Then it's to Sams Wholesale for their taste testing frenzy from 10-2 tomorrow ... they do this like twice a year and it's when they bring out all the good stuff (imported cheeses and fancy dancy type stuff, etc.) ... ha ... that will be lunch I guess ... =0)

Then to school to help with some Math tests and do my "normal" on Fridays to help out at school ...

busy day ... AND ... a cold one I hear!

later ...

happy day ... tammy

Happy Nate Day ...

Happy Birthday to Nate! 36th birthday to be exact ... he's getting closer ... to the big 40! He reminds me all the time that I'll hit it before him ... but Lisa was kind enough Sunday to mention that he looks much older than me ... =0) Thanks Lisa!

Nate's birthday was yesterday ... we went to dinner with about 30 of our friends and family at Demo's in Hendersonville last night ... a very enjoyable evening ... we have such great friends and we love spending time with them ...

I ran to Costco yesterday to pick up Nate's cake ... got gas while I was there ... thank goodness I happened to look down at my display and see that I had "2 miles to empty" ... it's a little cheaper there since we're members ... after pumping ... I had to grab my phone and take a pic of this ...

I know it's nothing new that gas has dropped considerably ... but I was taken back a bit in realization of the fact that just a few short months ago, I paid $75 at this same pump for the same amount of gas!

Nice ...

What's NOT so nice ... is that we have all been a little under the weather at our house ... LeAnna was home yesterday and today ... not feeling 'real bad', but enough to stay home ... she does pretty good during the day, but at night time (sleeping) she is stopped up and wakes up with a low grade fever ... I have actually spent a lot of my day in bed! I feel horrible actually ... oh well ... hoping to get better and be over this soon ... Nate was feeling better, but seems to be feeling pretty yucky today ... AND after finding out that it's getting down to 23 degrees tonight ... PERFECT evening to just "stay in" and hibernate!

As far as the Holiday Market over the weekend ... did okay ... not a lot of traffic ... did sell some clothes of mine, more of LeAnna's, a play kitchen and a toddler bed ... I guess it was worth setting up, but was feeling pretty rough all weekend ... AND can't believe that next week is Thanksgiving and LeAnna is out of school for most of the week ... only attends Monday! THEN December happens!

AAAHHHHHH ... where in the world have I been while time has been flying by?! Oh My Goodness!

ok ... I'm worn out from this post ... back to bed for me!

happy, blowy, snotty day ... tammy

Our church is hosting a

"HOLIDAY MARKET"

Friday, November 14th

7a - 7p

Saturday, November 15th

7a - 12 Noon

New Life Apostolic Church

Fellowship Hall

4712 Clarksville Hwy.

Nashville, TN 37218

Crafts, Home Baked Goods, Monogram Booth, New and Gently Used Items, Antiques, Candles, Baby Items, Clothing booths and many more!

Plenty of booths to shop at!

The Kitchen will host Breakfast both mornings and a "dine in or carry out" dinner on Friday night from 4p-6:30p

Join Us!

Word In Waste Out ...

Well ... it's always "something" with me ... I don't even know what to blog so much has transpired since the last time I blogged ...

however ... the main reason I haven't been able to blog ... computer was on the blitz! FINALLY got it fixed ... ended up being a bad modem and bad cables ... so ... all better now ... thank goodness!

Didn't want anyone to think I had flown the coup! ha! Still flapplin' around here like a crazy person!

We have Holiday Market at church this weekend, which I have a booth at ... most everything that will be in my booth was left over from the consignment sale, so it's all sitting in the garage and ready to go! However ... the playroom has yet to be gone through ... next project ... empty the entire room and ... basically ... start over! NEEDS to be done ... HAS to be done ... and what better time, when you have a sale to sell it in! =0)

Anyhoo ... LeAnna always has wild stories to tell ... it's always "something" when she gets in the car in the afternoons! So ... "one" of the many things she said day before yesterday ... the conversation went like this ...

LeAnna: Mom, want me to read you some scripture?

Mommy: Sure!

LeAnna: It's Luke 98:8 (and then proceeds to quote "something" not sure what ... but something scriptural sounding and knowing that Luke does not have 98 chapters ... hmmm)

Mommy: Wow baby that's great! Did you learn that in Chapel or in Bible Class?

LeAnna: No

Mommy: Oh, ok, well where did you learn that?

LeAnna: On the toilet

Mommy: WHAT?

LeAnna: On the toilet, using the bathroom at school ... they have scripture on the walls and I get bored in there sitting so I started learning it!

Alrighty then ... hey ... whatever works ... "the Word in, the waste out" ... our new Motto! ha!

Okay ... so, now that I'm up and running with a computer again ... LOTS on my plate to do ... just wanted to give a quick update ...

happy day ... tammy

Riding The Rail ...

Yesterday ... LeAnna was out of school for Teacher In-Service training ... so ... I took advantage of the day and did her 7 year pictures ... it was a beautiful day, not cold, temp was just right, sun was out, lighting was good ... and basically, just happy I got it done. I would much rather have stayed at home ... heaven knows theres MUCH to do there! But, happy I did! And, it gave LeAnna and I some one on one time that we haven't gotten in a while! Before she started school, we were together all the time ... then school happened ... and I got used to her being there and she got used to being there ... and now I'm used to it, I have to admit - it's nice ... it's all about getting into a routine I guess ... anyhoo ... it was SO nice to spend the day together yesterday ... just hanging out and talking, laughing ... just communicating ... it was nice.

I wanted something "different" for her pics this year ... in the past at birthday time, I tend to do "fall" type pics, mainly because I love Fall and the color ... and also it's her birthday "season" ... but I wanted to do different ...

so ... different I did ... I went downtown and parked and we walked down a railroad track and did pics on the track ... very neat and I'm happy and glad I did ... afterwards, we went and did some at Sylvia's ... the color is always so nice there ... I took lots of pics, but here's a few that I've started on ...

My LeAnna is growing up ... and yesterday ... proved it even more just in our chats throughout the day ...

it was a very nice day ... one to store in my safe keeping for retrieval on a day when I just need to "recall" ...

happy day ... tammy

All About Some Punkin's ...

I met Karla for breakfast Thursday morning ... it's an effort we began a while ago to meet once a week to eat breakfast and just "catch up" ... we both lead very busy lives, and this is one way we can "keep contributing" to our friendship. However, lately, it's been so busy that we have only been able to catch breakfast here and there ... one thing we always "try" and do is eat somewhere new that we've never been before ... this is fun trying to find new places ... I found this one last week ... Cafe Coco's ... they are off of Elliston Place on Louise Ave. They are open 24 hours and serve breakfast, lunch and dinner ... the menu stated that breakfast is served 90% of the time ... with the clause that if it was VERY busy during "non-breakfast" hours, breakfast would not be available ... oh well ... breakfast was good ... and it was nice for something different!

Friday ... I had training for my new insulin pump ... had to be admitted to Summit Medical Center (ID bracelet as my souvenir) just so the facility could get paid by insurance ... anyhoo ... got a new pump ... excited about that ... it has a remote control ... very nice new toy that will make life easier when in public and need to pump discreetly ...

then ... had to do my "normal" teacher help at school ... while I was there, the class heard a "christian" pumpkin story while the pumpkin was being carved ... each kid got to remove two scoops of "pumpkin guts" before the story ... here are a few pics ...

LeAnna lost two teeth this last month ... so she decided she needed to be a pumpkin ... I found her a costume ... grant it, it was 18-24 month in size, but it was on sale .... ha! She wore it as a shirt ... So in the following pics ... the hat is just a tad bit tight on her head ... you'll be able to tell ... on the way to trunk-n-treat last night she said ... "I have the beginning of a headache ... right now it's about a "1" on a scale of 1-10, so I'm not going to take off my hat yet" .... ha! oh well ... she's the one that felt it was important to stuff her 7 year old head into an 18-24 month old hat!

Daisy had a pumpkin costume too - (got it on sale as well - woo-hoo!) They looked too cute together ...

Daisy went to trunk-n-treat too ... she was a cute punkin' ...

Lot's of food, fire, treats and hayride! Fun night ...

I for one, can't believe that we are officially starting "November" today! Oh My Goodness!

I had two clients today ... both included family Christmas pictures ... After my clients left ... I thought ... Wow! What organized Moms to already have Christmas pics over with and a card in the works! Top of the game ... Nice! ... Kudos!

Now ... I must go change all of my clocks ... and I have TONS of them! Oh My - I just realized what a task this will be ... ha! Oh well ... maybe I won't and just pretend that they're all set for different time zones! ha!

happy daze ... tammy

I Want A New Drug ... One That Don't Make Me Sick ... (gotta love 80's music)

STILL not finding the happy ...

Friday afternoon, things turned worse ... full blown allergic reaction to include fever and chills on top of all the other symptoms and side effects ... and to be honest ... the weekend was a blur ... it's been a LONG time since I was actually sick enough to just lay in the bed ... not even go to the couch ... just the bed! Thanks to some heavy meds knocking me out ... I dazed all weekend ...

Then ... after an antibiotic change to something "new" due to the allergic reaction ... ends up ... not good either ... AAHHHHH ... was up just about all night last night ... didn't go to bed until 4am back up at 5:15am very sick ... yep ... I am NOT enjoying this "lounge around time and deliriously not even able to enjoy or care about it" time!

However ... the good thing is ... the Steroids are working and the swelling has gone down and it looks much better today ... I'm weak and dizzy (from the type of meds) this evening but glad I am feeling some better.

So ... to "catch up" a bit ... LeAnna lost a top front tooth last Friday ... it had been SO ready to come out for a while ... that the last few pics I had taken of her showed how red and inflamed the gum was around the tooth ... VERY happy it's out! We worked and worked with her to get it out ... she was SO scared for us to pull it ... and wouldn't you know ... it would get knocked out by two boys on the playground! Yep ... oh well! It's out!

And she has two more loose! SO ... I told her that I was painting her face orange this Friday and everyone would definitely know what she was when she smiled!

Last Tuesday, was Jr. Cheerleading picture day ... yep ... big deal, right?! So ... we "got the memo" not soon enough that the girls needed white turtle necks for the pics ... so Renee and I went "the day of" on a hunt for turtlenecks ... a quick trip to Wally World or Target, right?! WRONG! After checking a couple of stores before the trek out we ended up running through about 4-5 stores ... what in the world?! It's Fall people, it's cold outside ... go figure - they put Christmas decor out at the stores on July 5th but we can't find turtlenecks in the middle of October?! SO finally ... we found cute jumpers at Marshalls for $12.99 that had, wouldn't you know, white turtle necks inside! For the gas we would have spent driving around for a turtle neck ... $12.99 was a bargain!

Got to the school ... got them dressed ... hurried them to the field for the photographer to take ... GROUP pics and individual pics ... ahhh ... they DID NOT take GROUP pics!? WHAT in the world (again) ... yep ... ok ... after all this and Renee and I could have done the girls individual pics FREE ... ARGH! So ... had to stand on the field and wait in line for each girl to get their pics individually done ... still haven't heard why there were no group pics ... at least we "got the memo" and made it happen ... there were a few that showed up without them ... and come to think of it ... could have been the reason they didn't do group shots ...

oh well ... it's a memory - right?!

I'm ready to get back in my groove ... hoping that happens VERY soon ...

peace, tammy

(this is a drug induced post)

Yep ... I'm jinxed!

If it's going to happen ... it's going to happen to me!

AAHHHHHHH .... I am SO miserable right now ...

Last Saturday morning, I woke up with 3 places on my neck ... bites ... no, not Nathan ... an actual bug bite ... who apparently bit me and crawled, bit and crawled and then bit and who knows what happened to him then! Yes, referring to this bug as a "him" ... bite and leave! Just kidding ... anyhoo ...

So ... started applying Benedryl cream to my neck ... had to go to a funeral Saturday out of town ... so I wore a turtle neck and you couldn't see my bites ... Then Sunday ... it looked a little worse ... you could definitely tell it was "something" ... especially when people at church greeted my neck instead of my eyes or face, wondering what was wrong with me!

Anyhoo ... VERY busy week and fast forward to Wednesday ... had a long day ... and my neck ... yuck ... very red, inflamed at this point ... just looked horrible ... by Wednesday night ... my throat starting feeling tight ... I took 50mg of Benedryl and went to bed ... woke up early Thursday morning ... VERY inflamed, very swollen and so tight it hurt to swallow ... okay ... I'm thinking ... I need to get dressed and go get a shot ... I'm having a full-blown allergic reaction!

Took 50mg MORE of Benedryl before I got dressed ... I laid on the bed for just a minute (I thought) ... woke up 2 hours later ... better but still feeling bad ... called my doc ... who prescribed steroids and an antibiotic plus continue a regimen of Benedryl ...

yack ... yack ... yack ... I'm SO miserable by this point ... I'm dazed and confused from all the medicine ... apparently I got my drugs at Walgreens and made it back home ... started on my new drugs and laid down ...

I could tell a difference last night that the tightness was less ... thanks to the powerful boost of 6 steroid tablets! ... however ... I took my first antibiotic last night and went to bed ... this morning ... woke up and was SO inflamed (cheeks), burning and red! and VERY high sugar ... AAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Yep ... steroids elevate my sugar in a MAJOR way! SO ... contending with that as well ...

So ... I took another antibiotic pill at 9:30 this morning ... by 11:15 I was broke out in a rash all over my neck and upper torso and my face up to my eyes looks severely sun burned ...

Oh MY GOODNESS!!!! What else?!?!?!?!

So ... a quick look at the Walgreens info sheet on the pills and noted that if "what happened to me" happens ... call the doctor immediately ....

so ... I did ...

Yep ... just as suspected ... having an allergic reaction to the medicine that's supposed to be helping with the infection caused by the first allergic reaction ...

ok ... whatever ... by this point ... I'm just happy to be breathing!!!!

So ... stopping that med and another one is being called in ...

I would post a picture ... but you would be guessing what I was for halloween!

Anyhoo ... only me ... ONLY stinkin' me that this would happen to!

And my sugars on top of all that ... OUT the roof!!! SO ... taking lots of insulin, drinking lots of water ... and getting ready to go lay down again since the Benedryl is kicking in again ...

So ... whoever heard of an allergic reaction to an allergic reaction ... stupid bug! Thanks dumb stupid bug!

Yep ... miserable ...

so ... I'll post again and catch up on what's been going on this week ... later

"trying" to find "happy" in this day ... not happening so far ... tammy

Multiple Blessings ...

It's been a whirlwind of a week!

From clients, to celebrating birthday's (dinner "out" for my mother-in-law - Happy Birthday Granny! to cooking dinner for D.J - Happy Birthday Dee!) to loads of laundry, house cleaning, grocery shopping, taking care of "two" dogs who are trying to get used to each other's company, to working, doing homework, lunch with friends, church, to having a new insulin pump overnighted because the old one is on the blink ... and putting discipline stratagem into action due to the unknowledgable use of the computer by a curious, eager 7 year old just wanting to play for a bit in some free time after homework - who used "X" instead of "-" to minimize my hours of work yesterday!!!!!!

Yep ... not happy ... at all ...

And in all of this ... longing for just a few minutes of solitude by myself ... just to do "whatever" I wanted for just a minute or two ... which doesn't happen very often.

In some shopping yesterday to pick up a few more items for dinner last night ... I found this book at Costco ... awaiting my purchase ...

I love watching the show "Jon & Kate plus 8" ... we all do actually ...

This morning ... I had to take LeAnna to school since Nate had to be up and out of the house by 5am to go out of town for a job today ...

So, on my way out the door ... I took a few moments to snap some pictures and grabbed my new book on the way out the door ...

My plan was to go to McDonalds (not a good plan, since I'm "still" attempting to lose those last few pounds that are the hardest to get off - just shy of 25 lbs to date) ... but I was craving a big thirsty diet coke from McDonalds like most crave a coffee from Starbucks ... still caffeine fuel - however you attain it ... anyhoo ... I "of course" ended up purchasing a #4 ... a plan, but still not the best one ... however ... I did ... and I pulled over into a nice, cozy parking spot ... and got out my new book ... eager to delve into at least the first chapter while I chomped away at my #4 ...

ok ... so ... these people reached out of the book, latched onto my heart and 4 chapters later ... I look up and think ... "what am I doing?!" ... I've got to go ... this is crazy ... I'm sitting here in this parking lot like I have not a care in the world, with nothing awaiting me when I arrive back home ... and nothing on the agenda for today ... far from the truth ... nonetheless ... I realized, I had actually taken a "moment or two" for ME! Something I don't do much of anymore ...

and ... it felt good! guilty ... but good ...

the first four chapters brought tears to my eyes ... just knowing and understanding NOT ALL by no means ... but SOME of the trials and tests that these two went through just to finally see "PINK" at the end of a stick one blessed day! Wow ... been there done that 100 times ... crazy as it may seem to some ... it's a real deal ... that some will never understand unless you've been there ...

Just as I got SO upset yesterday when all my hard work had been wiped away from my trusty computer screen by an unknowledgable 7 year old ... I felt differently while reading the book this morning ... I slowly began to recall all those moments long ago ... when I longed for messes to be made, messes to clean up ... school events to attend, crafts to make, a chance to sit and "color" with the excuse of a small one beside me legitimately giving me reason to, so I wouldn't look "child like" doing so as an adult ... all the little small things that we as parents take for granted on any given day ... I WANTED THESE SMALL INCONVENIENCES at times, to happen to ME!

ME ... why not me?! I questioned SO many times ... I don't think much about it anymore ... how I felt back then ... so empty ... so barren ... so ... so! It's a feeling VERY indescribable if you've never been there to experience it ... try to imagine not fulfilling and experiencing a God-given desire that every woman was created to experience! It's hard to explain ... so I won't attempt ... but reading this book this morning ... helped me to realize and sympathize all at the same time ... there are SO many who DO understand going through something like that ...

anyhoo ... here's a quick excerpt out of the book ... that I so well recognized and understood ...

"... somewhere down deep I was hoping that after seeing the neutral white indicator so many times, the odds would work in my favor, and that, one day, by some miracle, that little window would be pink. When you are trying to become pregnant, and especially if you have suffered through the wrenching trials of infertility, somehow something as simple as that tiny rectangle on the end of a piece of plastic takes on all the promises of tomorrow's hopes and dreams. On this particular morning I had woken around 4:30a.m. to use the bathroom. I did my test, and then, still groggy with sleep, laid it on the bathroom counter and plopped back into my warm bed. It was extremely unusual that I did not camp out in that small, cold bathroom, hovering and pacing, waiting as the minutes ticked by until, as so many times before, I would read the dreaded results. Instead, it was a full hour later when I got up to get ready for work that I remembered to check the test. I couldn't believe my eyes! Could it really be pink? I thought that maybe the glare of the fluorescent lighting was playing tricks on me, so I took the test over to the early morning natural light by the bathroom window. It still looked pink! Not knowing whether to scream, cry or pinch myself in case I was dreaming, I ran over and shook Jon. "Jon, Jon! Wake up. Does this look pink to you?" I'm pretty sure a normal man shaken awake by his dear sweet wife who was shoving a urine-christened plastic stick under his nose at 5:30 in the morning and demanding a color analysis would probably have a few choice words to say. Not Jon. He jumped out of bed and threw on the closet light for a closer examination of the now "holy stick." "Looks pink to me, Kate." That's all I needed to hear."

Yep ... been there done that ... got the t-shirt with the big fat NO on it so many times ... and also the PINK several times ... that lasted for a bit and then went away ... that's not a fun part either ...

Just WAITING for pink to appear is only the first part of it ... then PRAYING for it to stay pink for longer than 5-8 weeks happened alot ... 7 times to date with one live birth - LeAnna bug ...

Anyhoo ... just very thankful today ... for #1 - LeAnna Rachel ... a BIG blessing in our lives ... a fulfilled promise ... thanks God! And #2 for a few stolen moments to indulge in some "me time" by myself ... and #3 ... some perspective.

We all need a perspective check-up every now and then ...

In my "perspective check-up" this morning ... God laid someone on my heart to encourage ... not someone I know on a very close personal level ... so with that leaves me thinking ... hmmm ... how will she take this "note of encouragement" from me ... will she think "well that was weird" or will she say "thanks God - for answering my prayer today in a tangible way" ...

one will never know ... I've just learned to "do it" whatever that means when God says to do so ...

Anyhoo ... I must get busy ... with my busy day ... just sharing my journal thoughts today ...

happy day ... tammy

Crazy Pets ...

I had a client this evening ... so while waiting ... I used Princess and Daisy as test subjects! They didn't comply too much ... however ... I did get a few ...

Princess is SO territorial ... Daisy is SUCH a tease! Oh my ... NOT a good combo right now! They are getting more adjusted though ... it's been very comical to watch them together ...

Tonight ... I was trying to get Daisy in her cute little pink bed ... which she loves and has napped all day in it ... and Princess ran over, jumped in front of her and into her bed and just stood there like she dared anyone to make her move! Crazy!

oh well ...

She had her first doc appointment this morning ... 14 weeks old today ... and 9 lbs already! NOT good ... so much for a small lap dog! ha! oh well ... she's a cutie and I guess we'll keep her regardless! Doc said you normally double their weight at 16 weeks and that will be "about" what they'll weigh as an adult dog .... hmmmm .... if my calculations serve me correctly ... she'll be much larger than Princess! OH MY ... k ...well ... she's cute ... (convincing myself of this decision to get her)

Just praying she'll realize that LeAnna is her Mommy and not me! I tend to get very addicted to my pets ... she's just so stinkin' cute, I can't keep my hands off her! But at the same time, having to give Princess EXTRA attention! She is SO jealous ... she won't even come to me ... I have to go pick her up just to love on her ... crazy dogs!

happy day ... tammy

Happy Birthday To LeAnna ...

S E V E N ... today!!!!

LeAnna had two friends sleep over after the party last night ... Kaitlyn and Miquela ... they stayed up late playing ... falling asleep on the couch, only to leave the "new puppy" duty to Nathan and I ...oh well ... we wanted to monitor her anyway and see how she would do the first night ... she did GREAT! Slept all night long in her little pink bed on the floor beside our bed ...

the one thing I LOVE about this 3 month old puppy ... is she came potty trained already! Yep ... a major deciding factor in purchasing this pooch! And she has caught on to "our doggie door" and is doing well ... very pleased with that! She goes to the door, throws her head in the air and howls to go potty! Gotta love that! Too funny! I didn't know what she was doing at first ... ha!

So... we got the girls up ...

and went to Shoney's (eek) for breakfast ... mistake ... enough said ...

then came back home and the girls played all day long ... even made up their own mystery and had me go through the house solving all the clues ... they did really well ... it was fun!

Then this evening ... to Tequila's for birthday dinner!!!

the cake ... oh my ... I had called and placed an order ... specific cake, filling and icing, with a Princess and frog theme ... you know ... "Happy Birthday LeAnna" on it ... well ... got there to pick it up ... the pastry manager forgot to turn the order in ... so ... NO "specific" cake ... long story short ... this one was free ... and I'm all about free ... so ... this was it ... oh well ...

It was a nice evening of dinner, "free" cake and presents!

After we left ... we asked her if there was anything else she wanted to do today since it was "her day" ... she said ... hmmmm ... go to Justice Just for Girls! So since she had received two gift cards to Justice, we took her by there ... she had a blast trying to decide what all she wanted to buy ... Kaitlyn helped her choose ... and LeAnna told her to pick something out too ... so they both left there with fun goodies!!!

It was a Happy Birth"day" for LeAnna ... and she is happy that she is now 7!

happy day ... tammy

Guess Who ...