... I always take a "moment" on this particular day of the year ... just to ... remember.
Long after everyone else has "stopped" remembering ... I still remember.
Not a big deal - we move on ... and especially if it's not someone you were really close to - it's easier to move on.
I, just like everyone else who has lost "someone" ... tend to forget someone else's "someone".
But it's harder when it's "your" someone.
So ... today ... I remember.
It's funny ... just two days ago ... LeAnna "out of the blue" said ... "Mommy, I miss my Granddaddy" ... (she has never met him - he died almost 3 years before she was born) ...
We have shown her many pictures ... many videos ... told many stories ...
He wanted a grandchild SO bad ... and let me know MANY times ...
but ... I was doing my best - just didn't happen in "my timing" ...
Ultimately, God knows best and His timing is ALWAYS perfect ... even in times when we "just don't understand why".
So ... yes ... I ponder sometimes ... "wondering" why he wasn't able to enjoy our blessing ... sometimes I wish so bad that he could have seen her.
Oh well ... Life is FULL of "why's" ... and sometimes you just get tired of "wondering why" ...
But today ... when everyone else doesn't remember what they were doing 9 years ago today ... I do ...
It hurts ... still does ...
But ... he hurt and he is MUCH better off now ... and for that I am thankful.
Tearfully, I write this in remembrance ... just wishing for "one more day" ... I KNOW I would have said all those things I keep telling myself that I should have said.
Too late now ...
regrets? some.
For the most part ... all was well -thankfully.
We will always wish we had said more, done more, been there more, listened more, laughed more, hugged more, so many more "mores" ...
People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad. ~Marcel Proust
happy days ... tammy
1 comment:
Girl....you have me in tears now....your dad was a very special man. I remember him coming to our house many times delivering pizzas.
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