Framed Thoughts ...

In my lifetime ... I have taken thousands and thousands of pictures, literally.

And I got to thinking about this today ... I really, seriously, do have an issue ... I really am "snap happy" as I refer to myself to clients - and at times the client would look at me, with this "how in the world will I be able to choose" sort of look ... but I have strategized about this forever and came up with being "snap happy" so as to provide 20-40 very good poses instead of "well, you paid for 40, but here are 2 good ones" sort of thing ... which happened to me when LeAnna was a baby and I vowed to be different! ANYHOO ... not case and point - but ...

Ok ... so ... I got to thinking about this today ... how ... I really do take LOTS of pictures ... and LOVE all of the picture I take of LeAnna and have TONS and TONS of really good ones ...

BUT ...

There are only a rare few that I actually choose to frame.

When you frame a picture ... it's normally because #1 it "means something" to you, has significance, it's worthy of hanging.

AND ... everyday you pass this "framed" picture, look at it over and over. And when you look at it over and over, it brings up a memory of significance. It might strike a chord of contentment, or a chord of laughter, of love, and even at times strike a chord of pain.

Although, I have many pictures that I absolutely adore ... there are those few special ones that mean enough to display, keep at the forefront, for memory recall every time I pass it.

hmmmm ...

In my quiet time this morning ... a special thought was placed within me ... about my "thoughts".

Whether I know it or not ... I have actually "framed" thoughts in my head.

Good ones and bad ones ... but they are there, nicely framed and positioned just so-so in the corners of my mind.

I have thoughts ALL day long ... but certain ones I choose to frame ...

Some of my framed thoughts are happy thoughts ... "make me smile" thoughts.

But ... most of my "framed" thoughts lately have reeked of negativity. ... not by choice ... well ... yes ... by choice I guess ...

It's easy sometimes to frame the wrong kind of thoughts I guess ... and then everyday, I pass by those framed thoughts of negativity ONLY because I hung them there!

Dumb me ... I'm complaining about this issue and I am the only one responsible for framing my thoughts of negativity!

Yes ... I guess it's normal to have negative thoughts, but it is so not healthy to dwell on them and actually take the time to think about them enough to go out and have them framed only to have them hanging around up there for me to pass by them everyday and dwell there!

Whew ... okay ... earth to Tammy ...

Anyhoo ... guess what I'm trying to say is that ... I am analyzing myself a little bit today ... and trying to make a conscience effort to take down some of the "negative" artwork and replace it with more "positive" artwork (thoughts).

It is really easy to think there's no one else going through what I am going through in this WHOLE world! Right?! oh well ... another one of those dumb thoughts that should never have had the first nail driven in the framework!

But hey ... we live and learn ...

So ... I decided to focus on someone else who might be worse off than myself ...

And wouldn't you know ... the opportunity presented itself just today!

I had another appointment at the eye doctor this afternoon ... I was sitting by myself in the waiting room, waiting to dilate (ha - almost sounded childbirthish -huh?!) ... pondering "thoughts" (yep - good ones and bad ones) ... and an older gentleman sitting across from me got my attention and started talking ...

I had spent all morning in a doctor's office with my Mom being seen by an ortho surgeon, who told her she would need total knee replacements in both knees at the first of the year ...

so I was already tired and worn and really didn't want to talk ...

BUT ... he was by himself too and looked like he really needed to talk to someone ...

so I listened and answered his questions with yes, no, hmmm, oh wow, bless your heart, really?, I'm so sorry ...

and then the thought popped into my head ... (and I'm glad I did not say my thought out loud) "man, if I were you, I might just open that window right there and jump!" ... ha!

Bless his heart ... this guy was pitiful ...

the really weird thing about this was ... he was a diabetic, was on an insulin pump, had been having hemorrhages, had gone through some laser surgeries ... basically my story, but his was a WHOLE lot worse ... his body had become insulin resistant, and his body was rejecting the insulin ... they had given him a 5x strength insulin of what I was taking ... in essence and in comparison to the strength I take, he is taking 912 units of insulin per day in his basil rate, which means when he eats he has to pump even more!!!!! OH my ...

I take 21.5 units per day in my basil rate - this is not much, definitely not much in comparison.

... and suddenly my issues didn't seem as significant.

They called his name ... he stood ... and I wished him well and to hang in there ... and then he said to me ...

"I understand what you're dealing with" ...

Wow!

Suddenly I'm wanting to take down a few of my "framed negativity" thoughts and replace them with thoughts of compassion and concern for my "brother in HIGH need" of something!

Who knows ... maybe he was there today just for me ...

And who knows ... I might still try to pick up some of the negative frames from time to time ... but at least I have given it a name and recognize its effects.

Framed thoughts ... hmmm ...

interesting to me ... might not make sense to anyone but me ... but hey ... this is my journal ... so I guess it doesn't have to make sense.

Anyhoo ... guess I need to let those thoughts of negativity be "fleeting" and start framing more positive ones.

And ... the doctor visit ... well ... no 'new' changes ... and the blood is clearing ... so we wait ... one more month ... go back ... and he mentioned "some laser surgery" ... wow! Two weeks ago he was talking the "major" surgery ... and now just some laser ... which I've had done several times before ... in office ... uncomfortable ... but not too bad ... doable in comparison with being admitted to a hospital and being under the knife for several hours!

this helped to feed my "positive" thoughts today ...

thanks God!

happy days ... tammy