A Wedding, A Funeral ... and some Crazy Love!

it's been a whirlwind since I last posted!

There was a funeral, a wedding and LeAnna was a flower girl ... all in the same day!

The funeral was supposed to happen on Friday and it got changed to Saturday ... at 2pm ... which happened to be the same time as the Wedding ... so ... LeAnna and I went to the wedding ... Nate went to the funeral ... I hated to miss it ... but I had no choice ... LeAnna was in the wedding and I was photographing it ... I sure hated Nate missed LeAnna being a flower girl ... but he had to speak and play at the funeral ... she did so good ... I was a bit worried ... she has been a little shy lately and I didn't know if she would get up there and flip out or what ... however ... once I told her that I would be practically walking down the isle with her and up on the platform with her ... she was fine ... the bride wanted me up close and personal ... and I was ... ha! ... at one point ... I found myself standing beside the minister! hahahaahha ... I then thought "what am I doing?" ... and I moved over to the side! ... gotta get those ring shots! =0)

anyhoo ...

here are a few pics of my little lovely one ... I was very proud of her ...

uncle Wade ... I was so happy for him Saturday ... because he's happy ... but it was SO weird for me ... seeing him with someone besides my aunt Mary ... I guess because "knowing" there was a funeral going on at the same time and I wanted to be there as well ... that I was thinking of Mary's funeral not to long ago ... oh well ... life happens ... and we move on ... I'm just happy he's happy now.

Mother's Day ... a very cool day ... a day I've celebrated since I was born (whether I knew it or not) someone helped me celebrate it for my Mom! =0)

it's a day ... that I waited SO long to celebrate for ME!

I watched all my friends celebrate this special day ... and I celebrated with them ... wished them well ... even gave gifts to some at times ... but after the celebration was over ... after being very thankful and appreciative of my own Mom and Mother-In-Law ... I would then "alone" wallow in my misery and self-pity due to my "motherlessness" feelings of not being a mother myself!

I remember all the Mothers being asked to stand and then the ushers would pass out small gifts to them to honor them being a "mother" ... and I longed SO bad to be able to stand and get my prize ... sounds so stupid right?! AND I would have Sunday School children run up to me and bring me colored pages and be so proud to present them to me ... I was SO appreciative and loved everyone ... but I wanted MY very own child to run up to me and give me a scribbled drawing ... and I wallowed in this for years!!!!!

So on Mother's Day NOW, I don't take it lightly when I'm handed a small gift from an usher ... it means something to me ... very special ... and when my little baby girl runs up to me with a handful of weeds she's just picked or a page she just colored ... I melt and I savor every moment!

I can SO sympathize with the women who long to mother their own child ... it's a feeling that is VERY difficult to explain it's meaning ... it's a craving you just can't satisfy ... and what is SO cool?! is that God put it there ... it's a God-given nature to want to "mother" ... and I am SO glad and very happy thankful that He satisfied my craving 6 1/2 years ago!

Isn't it crazy?! Crazy that you could feel that kind of love that you feel towards a child?! The kind of love that one minute could rip you apart ... and the next minute feeling like you would give your everything for it?! yep ... crazy love!

I'm just so humble and thankful that He gave me the "desires of my heart" ... very grateful ....

and so ... on this Mother's Day weekend ... happy happy happy Mother's Day to all of you celebrating today ... and to those dear ones who WANT to be able to make this day your very own ... hang in there ...

Friday ... Nate was off and we had several errands to run and was out picking up gifts for our Moms ... so we were running a little late and Renee offered to go pick up LeAnna ... she was at the school turning in applications for the kids ...

when we arrived to the house to pick her up ... LeAnna presented me with a huge vase of flowers and a card ... oh my goodness ... Renee will never know what she did for me ... all those times that I did that for other friends of mine ... those memories came flooding back ... and I am very humble and thankful ... thanks Renee for making my day ... and the card? oh my ... GOT ME!!!! Renee asked LeAnna what she wanted to say ... LeAnna said ... "I like the way you love me" ...

WHAAAAAA WHAAAAAA (crying REAL tears now) ... Man .. that got me!

Whew! Okay ... better now ...

So ... Happy Mother's Day to all of you ... very special people ...

love, love and happy day ... tammy